TheSahmmy

Snap

Hubby cut the internet cable. Despite the orange spray paint marking where it was.

My stalking will be at a minimum until further notice.


From my friend’s new site. Just thought I’d pass this along. Some of us have been chatting about the lost art of the thank you note. 
K. I. S. S. theory right there.  View Larger

From my friend’s new site. Just thought I’d pass this along. Some of us have been chatting about the lost art of the thank you note. 

K. I. S. S. theory right there. 


fucking bullies, man

my heart broke a little last night as i listened to a mom of a kid in my younger improv class. 

she kept me after and said her son wanted to ask me something. the gist of it was ‘how to come up with witty things to say to a bully’.

the mom said, ‘i would love for you to have a class where they just work on not getting hurt, but come back with something. all of us are dealing with this.’ referring to the other moms. 

what kills me is that the three boys in my class aren’t your typical boys. they are smart, awkward, and incredibly funny when in an accepting environment. like….REALLY funny. creative, crazy unique things come out of their mouths. these kids are going somewhere.

but in their middle school world, no one would know that. 

so here is this place, a safe place they come to where they are applauded, where their parents, classmates, and i laugh at the great things they do. they get to do scenes with two pretty girls who laugh at them and work with them; treat them as equals.

the moms tell me ‘they live for thursdays’. 

and now, knowing what the other days might be like. i just want to cry. 


GOYW: 
this was me last night. 
i got to the comedy club on time for another open mike to pay my dues. i signed up and was 20 out of 22 on the list. that means i should have gotten on stage with no problem. 
but, at 8:00 when the show was to start, they printed the line up with 22 spots. opener comics (those who feature before big names) get 5 minutes, dues paid comics get 3 but i couldn’t find my name. some of the slots said, “RAFFLE”
then they announced that they would raffle the new people out of a hat at various times during the show. 
are you fucking kidding me? so i did everything i was supposed to and still might not get up? uh, huh. i see how you are.
so i watched as comic after comic went up and watched as some other comics got the raffle slots. [gotta say though, there is some great comic talent in Raleigh.] again. only 2 women. 
two hours went by. at times he would read a name and the person wouldn’t answer so he would pick another one. 
the. last. raffle spot….two names read, they weren’t there. pussies didn’t stick it out. 
then he read my name. (classic joke by God on me.) 
AND. I. FUCKING. KILLED. 
"i’m so glad you got picked! that was fucking funny!" said the host as he shook my hand, taking the mike from me. 
ps. thanks for the joke advice, the host did a joke about trying to get pregnant and that he wanted to fuck hermoine granger. i used it at the top and directed it at him saying he wasn’t prepared for kids. it rocked. esp. the patron patronus. so, thanks all!!
all the features who i watched last week but didn’t stick around were laughing their asses off. 
a few bum rushed me right when i sat down and excitedly told me how they loved my set. ” fucking flawless!” “how long have you been doing stand up?” 
long enough to know i’m not putting up with this raffle shit any more. but i have to because all the big names come to this club. 

GOYW: 

this was me last night. 

i got to the comedy club on time for another open mike to pay my dues. i signed up and was 20 out of 22 on the list. that means i should have gotten on stage with no problem. 

but, at 8:00 when the show was to start, they printed the line up with 22 spots. opener comics (those who feature before big names) get 5 minutes, dues paid comics get 3 but i couldn’t find my name. some of the slots said, “RAFFLE”

then they announced that they would raffle the new people out of a hat at various times during the show. 

are you fucking kidding me? so i did everything i was supposed to and still might not get up? uh, huh. i see how you are.

so i watched as comic after comic went up and watched as some other comics got the raffle slots. [gotta say though, there is some great comic talent in Raleigh.] again. only 2 women. 

two hours went by. at times he would read a name and the person wouldn’t answer so he would pick another one. 

the. last. raffle spot….two names read, they weren’t there. pussies didn’t stick it out. 

then he read my name. (classic joke by God on me.) 

AND. I. FUCKING. KILLED

"i’m so glad you got picked! that was fucking funny!" said the host as he shook my hand, taking the mike from me. 

ps. thanks for the joke advice, the host did a joke about trying to get pregnant and that he wanted to fuck hermoine granger. i used it at the top and directed it at him saying he wasn’t prepared for kids. it rocked. esp. the patron patronus. so, thanks all!!

all the features who i watched last week but didn’t stick around were laughing their asses off. 

a few bum rushed me right when i sat down and excitedly told me how they loved my set. ” fucking flawless!” “how long have you been doing stand up?” 

long enough to know i’m not putting up with this raffle shit any more. but i have to because all the big names come to this club.