TheSahmmy

May 23

not to be a bitch or anything…

but, when i’m sweating my balls off unloading my 3rd wheel barrow of dirt, trying to get it done before the rain hits, trying to keep my kids and my neighbor’s kids out of it so i can do it faster, knowing i have a billion other things inside the house on the ‘to do’ list…

it makes me a bit judgy to see the landscapers arrive at my neighbor’s house and park next to her cleaning lady’s car.

i realize her kids are at my house so they aren’t in the way at her house. glad i could be of service.  

May 22

My new mantra

My new mantra

[video]

my morning so far

my morning so far

May 21

Tuesday’s Truth:

i’m sitting here at 530am, watching the news, absolutely unable to comprehend the night some parents had last night. my biggest fear with my children is the unknown: that stranger, that unexpected car crash, that unforeseen accident, that school shooting.

i grew up in kansas. in grade school, we had tornado drills often. we’d pick up a pint of milk from the basement cafeteria and squeeze together against the walls, heads between knees, until the drill was over. 

now i have a children in grade school; one with fortitude, one with very little. i imagine her being trapped over night in a school, waiting to be rescued and struggling with her fears. this was the girl who has a complete meltdown of self-doubt when we were trapped in a tub together. i cannot fathom what she would be going through in this situation. 

and i cannot fathom spending the night hoping that mental trauma was only the worst that happened. 

my heart goes out to all those who lost loved ones but those who lost children. i just can’t even. 

May 20

I was a Swiss chard virgin and like some virgins, I turned to food porn to learn how to do it right so I would enjoy it.
Thanks to Mykidsreallyeatthis video, I had Swiss sex tonight.
Oh, and I grew that shit…it starts small but with the right touch, it gets impressive.

I was a Swiss chard virgin and like some virgins, I turned to food porn to learn how to do it right so I would enjoy it.

Thanks to Mykidsreallyeatthis video, I had Swiss sex tonight.

Oh, and I grew that shit…it starts small but with the right touch, it gets impressive.

May 18

Garage Sale Grace
it may come as a bit of a surprise, but i’m a real bitch about manners. i semi-force my kids to thank everyone, greet and thank wait staff, say ‘bye bye, thank you’ when leaving places, tell parents ‘thank you for inviting me’ after parties, always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’….on and on with my tiresome record. 
it is almost a habit now. almost.
today, CD and i stopped by a neighbor’s garage sale because we saw feather boas and a Fancy Nancy dress that will work for her fairy birthday party ($2.00 total). the grandmother working the sale asked her if she would like anything from the free basket. CD looked her in the eye, 
“No thank you”
“Well, aren’t you such a sweetie. With such good manners. Take some of my homemade cookies with you.”
in car: 
“Mom, i think that lady gave me cookies because she liked my manners.”
“I know she did. Everyone likes manners. Sometimes people get so inspired by good manners, they want to show you kindness in return. (pause) So noooow you understand why mom is constantly telling you to use good manners.” 
(looking at her cookies)”yep.”

Garage Sale Grace

it may come as a bit of a surprise, but i’m a real bitch about manners. i semi-force my kids to thank everyone, greet and thank wait staff, say ‘bye bye, thank you’ when leaving places, tell parents ‘thank you for inviting me’ after parties, always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’….on and on with my tiresome record. 

it is almost a habit now. almost.

today, CD and i stopped by a neighbor’s garage sale because we saw feather boas and a Fancy Nancy dress that will work for her fairy birthday party ($2.00 total). the grandmother working the sale asked her if she would like anything from the free basket. CD looked her in the eye, 

“No thank you”

“Well, aren’t you such a sweetie. With such good manners. Take some of my homemade cookies with you.”

in car: 

“Mom, i think that lady gave me cookies because she liked my manners.”

“I know she did. Everyone likes manners. Sometimes people get so inspired by good manners, they want to show you kindness in return. (pause) So noooow you understand why mom is constantly telling you to use good manners.” 

(looking at her cookies)”yep.”

May 17

At H & M, picked this dress for CD for 4.95. 

R didn’t want a dress. I saw her by a t-shirt table. 

Me: you want that tiger shirt, don’t you.

R: yeah, but it’s in the boys’ section.

Me: boys don’t own the market on tigers. Grab your size.

At H & M, picked this dress for CD for 4.95.

R didn’t want a dress. I saw her by a t-shirt table.

Me: you want that tiger shirt, don’t you.

R: yeah, but it’s in the boys’ section.

Me: boys don’t own the market on tigers. Grab your size.

May 16

reference/reality check

May 15

TheSahmmy grows spinach

TheSahmmy grows spinach