TheSahmmy

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Improv for Parents : The Game

As I mentioned a while ago, I have been working on a book that discusses how the basics of comedic improv are beneficial to parenting. Today’s contribution focuses on “Finding the Game”; something we actually do every day. In improv there is much concern about “finding the game” in a scene. So much that it can not be covered in this excerpt, so let me center on one aspect of “the game” which is relates to interactive play with children.

The definition of “The Game” I am using is an interaction between two players (parent/child) where a pattern is established, explored and heightened. When you play “Peek a Boo” with your baby, you are playing “a game”. A pattern is established. When you started the game, you made what is called in improv as “an initiation”. Your baby “accepts” that initiation by smiling back. As you know, it sometimes takes a few initiations for the baby to recognize the game. But it is easy to realize when the game is being heightened by their escalating giggles and delight. The challenge is to work on exploration, finding where you can take the game.

The best part about these games is that they cost no money and can be played anywhere. I’ve included a video. Important to say it was done in one take with no real planning so you get the idea of impromptu play. It’s not perfect, but it does help illustrate what the hell I’m talking about. In this video, China Doll and I are having lunch. Now, she is a game girl. She loves this stuff so she jumps on this game right away. But notice I try to make new initiations in the game by snapping my fingers. Since she can’t snap her fingers, she denies that initiation but continues to play ‘the game’. That’s when you drop your ‘agenda’, throw your attention on your partner and see where they take it. We return to slapping. When I make an initiation she can do, the finger drumming, she jumps on board. The game is still the same: I make a hand gesture, she makes a hand gesture, but we “explored” that game by introducing different moves. That is what I mean by taking it to another level, going beyond ‘peek a boo’. Simple, right? Something you do every day which is why I always say anyone can improvise; we do it naturally.

In improv, finding the game enhances and solidifies the relationship between two players on stage. In life, the relationship between parents and their children benefits in the same way. This applies to kids at any age because “the game” can be anything from creating sound patterns or physical movement with babies/toddlers to agreeing to make dinner while talking in an accent with teenagers. China Doll and I exchanged no words, but tightened our bond with a silly game over lunch. The key is being willing to play, initiating a game and exploring the game. See where this interaction between you and your child takes you. The added benefit is it deepens the relationship.