Intruder Alert yesterday i’m trying to get out of the house and the doorbell rings, not rings, demands... jehovah’s witnesses. they rang twice then knocked. at the knock i headed downstairs, saw who they were, and decided not to answer….i turned and saw  this bird perched on the back of a chair.  i spent the next 20 minutes fighting dogs, coaxing the bird, cussing, pleading, watching the stressed bird dropping bombs all over the house. it is amazing what they can perch on when desperate.  my. life. i couldn’t write this shit if i tried.

Intruder Alert

yesterday i’m trying to get out of the house and the doorbell rings, not rings, demands...

jehovah’s witnesses. they rang twice then knocked. at the knock i headed downstairs, saw who they were, and decided not to answer….i turned and saw 

this bird

perched on the back of a chair. 

i spent the next 20 minutes fighting dogs, coaxing the bird, cussing, pleading, watching the stressed bird dropping bombs all over the house. it is amazing what they can perch on when desperate. 

my. life. i couldn’t write this shit if i tried.

8 months ago
  1. microcosmicmorganism reblogged this from thesahmmy
  2. electradaddy said: The JWs ringing twice & the appearance of the bird really do suggest a creepy horror/film noir combination. I’d have showered with the curtain open, I think.
  3. cityblue30 said: This is the best thing I’ve read today.
  4. lazydad said: Ugh. Birds=Flying Rats.
  5. themamalogues said: That bird trumped pushy Jehovahs. Impressive.
  6. thesahmmy posted this